30 June 2005


this story gives me hope
2 samuel 9

1One day David asked, "Is there anyone left of Saul's family? If so, I'd like to show him some kindness in honor of Jonathan."

2It happened that a servant from Saul's household named Ziba was there. They called him into David's presence. The king asked him, "Are you Ziba?"

"Yes sir," he replied.

3The king asked, "Is there anyone left from the family of Saul to whom I can show some godly kindness?"

Ziba told the king, "Yes, there is Jonathan's son, lame in both feet."

4"Where is he?"

"He's living at the home of Makir son of Ammiel in Lo Debar."

5King David didn't lose a minute. He sent and got him from the home of Makir son of Ammiel in Lo Debar.

6When Mephibosheth son of Jonathan (who was the son of Saul), came before David, he bowed deeply, abasing himself, honoring David.

David spoke his name: "Mephibosheth."

"Yes sir?"

7"Don't be frightened," said David. "I'd like to do something special for you in memory of your father Jonathan. To begin with, I'm returning to you all the properties of your grandfather Saul. Furthermore, from now on you'll take all your meals at my table."

8Shuffling and stammering, not looking him in the eye, Mephibosheth said, "Who am I that you pay attention to a stray dog like me?"

9David then called in Ziba, Saul's right-hand man, and told him, "Everything that belonged to Saul and his family, I've handed over to your master's grandson. 10You and your sons and your servants will work his land and bring in the produce, provisions for your master's grandson. Mephibosheth himself, your master's grandson, from now on will take all his meals at my table." Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants.

11"All that my master the king has ordered his servant," answered Ziba, "your servant will surely do."

And Mephibosheth ate at David's table, just like one of the royal family. 12Mephibosheth also had a small son named Mica. All who were part of Ziba's household were now the servants of Mephibosheth.

13Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, taking all his meals at the king's table. He was lame in both feet.

27 June 2005

'before swallowing water do you look at it and say 'ten drops to my spleen, 50 on cardiovascular detail, the rest to my scalp- no. water somehow knows where to go. Jesus is the same way- directions arent needed, but your permission is.

you can stand waist deep in the colorado river and still die of thirst- until you scoop and swallow- the water does your system no good.'

you can surround yourself with life and living water and be engulfed, consumed, swimming in it but your flesh is waterproof just like your spiritual flesh is water proof. you have to drink the water and trust Gods work on the inside. drinking it is your act of permission

'spend a life telling God to leave you alone and he will'

not reading the bible and praying sure has caught up to me. Jesus i repent for not acknowleding my thirst. ignorance of God is luxory i can not afford

'And all day long we talk about mercy
Lead me to water Lord, I sure am thirsty'
-joanna newsom

24 June 2005

In the end everything that we have tried to hide away in the dark will be exposed to the light that God will shine upon us. We go to great lengths to keep people at a distance so that they can’t really get to know what is going on inside of us. By pushing people away we build up walls keeping everyone at an arms length. Sometimes these walls are built by accident, by fear of what others will think, or on the other hand they are built purposely because we simply want to keep others out. When it comes down to it these walls are extremely frail and their foundations are not sturdy enough to endure the test of time. By allowing God to heal our wounds, comfort our broken hearts, and restore what has been lost, these frail walls that are so ever present in our lives will come tumbling down.

As for me, I look to the LORD for his help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me. (micah 7:7)

20 June 2005

yesturday we went to this rope swing

jake broke the first one

so we found this one, with the help of the local cop

and then saw cary brothers (the guy that sings blue eyes on the garden state soundtrack) and aqualung that night

i have more pictures HERE from nashville (nashvegas) and bonnaroo

17 June 2005

its easy here to not really be held accountable b/c there is always
so much going on and so many ppl and so many passerbyers and facades.
so truthfully im not doing that great spiritually besides the truth
that Jesus blood still covers my indifference and if it wasnt for his
pursuit of me then i would be a wanderer without a cause. i have been
kind of reading the sacred romance and there is this part that is a
breath of fresh air for me:
'so as long as we imagine that it is we who have to look to god, we
must often lose heart. but it is the other way about; he is looking
for us. and so we can afford to recognize that very often we are not
looking for god; far from it, we are in full flight from him, in high
rebellion against him. and he knows that and has taken it into
account. he has followed us into our own darkness; there where we
thought finally to escape him, we run straight into his arms. so we do
not have to erect a false piety for ourselves, to give us the hope of
salvation. our hope is in his determination to save us, and we will
not give in.'
so yea im hangin in there. prayers would be good even tho i havent
prayed in awhile i guess that means i dont believe that they work or
are simply legalistic acts. i think that i have come to the conclusion
that a prayer is a wordless utter from the very beat of our heart. and
if we try and put our longings and desires to words then we can only
screw it up or limit it.
sorry this was a downer on my part but im learning how to be real w/ myself.
so to sum it all up im havin so much fun but at the end of the day i am
still empty and hate time alone b/c i truly feel not only alone but

something that makes me really happy! yesturday i booked my flight to granada, spain! it was only 394 with tax!!! so im going! oct 14-23. i didnt think that i was goin to beable to come but then i found that flight and told my dad and he said that it was really cheap but he still had to think about it and then that night he called me and was like, 'i guess God told me that you can go to spain b/c we just got your security deposit refund check back from your apartment for $370' and this morning i talked to my mom and she said, 'things look like they are workin out for you, ask and you shall receive!' yaaaaa

16 June 2005

1. weenis

the tough skin enclosing your elbow

Ow, I hit my weenis on the refrigerator.
it's physically impossible to lick your weenis

14 June 2005

ok so we just got internet at my house here in nashville. so i am just now gettin to update you all. so it was an 11 hour drive here and only a week after my returning from florence. while i was home my parents had lots of family get togethers and cook outs and i had to move out of my aptmt in richmond, my moms bday all that week. so it was really busy and gave me no time to think about being back in the states except that it was weird using american money and i felt dumb using my first language. it just has been really too comfortable. now that i am away from ppl that speak and understand italian i really want to use it. so yea i havent been allowing myself to get stuck in nostalgia at all. the last 4 months in florence were i think just so surreal that my mind cant justify it as being real. but i have continued in the pattern of traveling.

so where i live is a perfect location, right in hillsboro village walking distance from the 'carytown' of nashville and the two best coffee shops in town.

i have been looking for a job..somewhat. im not really stressed out about it b/c i have been having so much fun just hanging out w/ ppl and i have met so many wonderful amazing ppl that i wont want to leave in august!


an old man across from me leans over to pick up a napkin and obsessivly whipes the table of its cleanness. (he must be a virgo) he evenly takes sips of his water and coffee, setting them perfectly back in to place. he has his wife beater shirt tucked neatly into his loose sweatpants with his phone clamped like a business mans on the side of the elastic. he has a live strong bracelet on his right wrist and a loose watch, facing in, on his left. an army tag empliments his right nike shoe. he stares intently out the window as he sips his cup continuously every 30 seconds with out fail. his water cup is empty and he looks at it wondering if another refill would be refreshing enough for him to walk over to get a refill.

i love making eye contact with strangers. i think because no matter if we ever meet- we automatically become a part of eachtothers life. maybe we will remember eachother -maybe not but it is recorded onto the memory track as an event of passing moments.

this past weekend i went to bonnaroo and it was ridiculous the amount of amazing bands that i saw in three and a half days: perpetual groove, gabby la la featuring les claypool, ollebelle, josh ritter, allison krauss and union station, madaleine peyroux, ray lamontagne, dave matthews band, brazilian girls, the mars volta, kings of leon, blue merle, rilo kiley, jack johnson, keller williams, iron and wine, secret machines, matisyahu, amos lee, dr. dog, keren ann, my morning jacket, the word, and modest mouse

beat that!

yea and the new coldplay and so freakin good i cant handle it and i bought my concert ticket to see them in sept and im countin down!~ cant wait!