22 September 2003

i always hope that what i do portrays God and that i write down what he gives me and make and bring to reality the ideas that he gives me in art. it is hard sometimes though. but i am just wanting to die to myself and what i want. i want to be at a point of resting and a realization of God's grace...today my campus minister was telling us the four different definitions of grace..they are. 1. God's heart towards mankind, 2. a state of being pleasing, 3. unmeritted favor, and 4. God's ability. wow. i mean those are 4 totally different definitions as if they are each describing 4 different words. but no..that is just how vast the Lord is. to only get the revelation of that. it is mind boggling..not trying to sound cheesy. but there aren't the words to explain or express how much freedom we would receive when our heart can agree w/ our mind in this knowledge. ya know? long pondering hours needed. no, more like 'Lord, grant me the brain capacity to even think about it.' ha.

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