i have some pictures up from my ventures as of now

straniero
by lauren d'auria

aimless i walk the large coble stepping stones
of culture shock and nowhere does it say,
'you are here' on this map of identity city.
i dont know which bus to catch,
which bus driver to trust with my direction.
nouth sorth wast eest
wouth eorth sast nest
scusa, which was to affirmation?
make a right at via della confusion,
go through piazza de frustration, and
as you cross the bridge of surrender,
look both ways as you cross the intersection of trust.
my bed feels so warm in this unknown city,
but the loudness seeping through the ceiling
always forces me to explore.
the soundtrack ive put to my life
is the only familiar thing
because all i know is far beyond a train ride
and if it could be reached,
the key won't fit into the door of this season.


i love the view from the window in my room, it reminds me of the view over the farmers market in downtown richmond. 'by and large, our world has lost its sense of wonder. we have grown up. we have grown bigger and everything else smaller, less impressive. we get blase and worldly wise and sophisticated'-brennan manning. the world and my life here is so different and surreal but at the same time it could be just as easy to take this opportunity for granted and live in a 'been there done that attitude'. 'everyday we stand on the threshold of moral ruin, with everything at stake, the hour has struck for bold and resolute decision making. Lord dont let me prudently wrap my faith and deposit it in a hermetric container and seal the lid shut to then limp through life here in florence on spiritual childhood memories or resolutely refuse the challenge of growth and spiritual maturity.' i dont want to lose what you have entrusted to me thus far.
being here also makes me realize how amazing my friends are back home and how much i miss them. its really hard being somewhere and not knowing a local that can really show you around. i think a city- no matter what- up to a certain point, is only as fun as the ppl you are with there. ive been realizing how much affirmation i get from how many ppl i know and now that i dont really know that many i feel like i am losing my identity. it shows me how much i havent found my security and joy in the Lord.

5feb- carnivale 2005, venice
the streets were covered in confetti and packed with ppl and mostly everyone had on either a mask, face makeup, or a costume. i bought a mask and joined in. there were some ppl that went all out and made these extragavent detailed costumes. they were always surrounded with ppl taking their picture. streets were full of street performers, ppl playing intruments, and even lots of kids in costumes. venetians were all around yelling 'trucca!' offering to do your makeup. there were so many ppl that there was no room for even the pigeons to land. these girls i met- alyssa, allie, and kate and then me and aimee went to a bar 'Harry's' and alyssa treated us to balini's (a peach/champagne 14€ drink that the bar is famous for). after that we mainly wandered around ppl watching and taking in the beauty of venice. we crossed the rialto bridge and went to the opera house and warmed up with some hot wine.

6feb- Pisa
it ended up being the carnivale there too but it was directed towards mainly kids. lots of kids were running around in costumes and throwing confetti at eachother and spraying silly string. we went to the leaning tower, inside the church and saw the baptistry (the cupcake), went to the best gelateria in town and saw keith haring's tuttomondo mural (his last piece before he died)

7feb- YAB (you are beautiful) a local club
dana our roomate is friends with a club promoter, fabio. and she got us into a dinner which included water, wine, and 4 courses and desert. it was amazing food. all the tables were set up on the dance floor so after we were all done around midnight they broke everything down and the DJ started up. first there is always time that the breakdancers go at it..that was really cool and i got alot of awesome pictures. we left after that around 1. and fabio told me that dreads are big in italy.

i have learned alot here already just about the difference in the culture of italy from america. america definately is a comfortable life compared to here but i like this place. i am getting tons of walking in..we finally found the markets to buy food so we feel like we more moved in now..not eatin out all the time. you can hear through all the walls and ceilings here and we are gettin used to sleeping in the cold. we did our first loud of laundry today which takes 2 hours and we have to hang dry everything. so they will probly be dry in about 2 weeks..ha. the water is undrinkable, no long hot showers, we have to unplug the tv to use the microwave and vise versa, no bare feet in the aptmts, no big fridge and food that is full of preservitives to last us a month, we shop about every other day and the trash cans are about the size of a milk carton and we take the trash out to the street everyday. this internet cafe is right across the street. and streets here are basically all one way and small, everyone rides bike and scooters, even old women or women in dresses and stelettos. it is amazing. the americans are very obvious here. they are all very loud. ha. but italians all like the hang out on the streets and there is good night life here from what i have seen so far. so though i am still gettin used to it..i love it. one downfall is that when i try to speak italian, b-c the italians are so used to mass amounts of tourist flow, they will switch to english. hopefully that will not keep me from learning. more to come soon. keep the emails and the prayers flowin!
press on

im here in florence!
email me dauriala@vcu.edu

today is my last full day in america until may 17th
im off to florence italy to study

"to us Holy is a good word for the library or the dark gothic cathedral that isnt exactly something that revs or engines but only fits a stern mood cautioning us against getting too overheated.
BUT to the apostle peter, to be holy was to stir up desire, to grab passion- in short, to live. a life pursuing holiness, says Peter, is a life that is sprinting away from ignorance, from small-minded living, but that basks in the wonder of God himself and that drinks in the depth and the awe and the exhilarating pleasure that is found in coming face to face with humanity's purpose.
why is it that Peter finds the pursuit of the holy so enticing? because God is holy. and God is the most madly alive, creative, uninhibited, wisely passionate being in the universe. and we are created in his image. born to live in his wild flow."
-winn collier (relevant magazine)

ho·ly,adj
1. recognized as or declared by religious us or authority; consecrated; holy ground.
2. dedicated or devoted to the service of God, the church, or religion.
3. saintly; pious; devout
4. having a spiritually pure quality; a holy love.
5. venerated as or as if sacred; a holy relic

"the dictionary is precious help when it comes to defining holiness. according to it, holiness either has something to do with God, or with being a really good person. the Bible is not big on definitions, maybe because the things that make like work can't be said in choppy numbered sentences.
holiness is connectedness to God. we are not holy neither by working hard nor by claiming to do things in the name of God. holiness means drawing on the triune God as the deepest source of our being, acknowledging that God is where everything good begins.

the great truths become great lies when we think we made them up; the great virtues are empty if our hearts have lost their center."
-stephanie gehring (relevant magazine)



"Thankfully, equally true is the action and reach of God's grace. We are not, without a doubt, "holy" on our own. Christ died for us while we were still sinners, He did not wait for us to clean up first. It's God's love for us, extending beyond time and culture, that draws us into Him. God's holiness is not a manipulation or the product of clever staging. Holiness, true holiness, is a drawing, or a luring ... a lure full of promise and of hope."
-eric hurtgen (relevant magazine)

one of my favorite things is being with ppl that i dont necessarily have to talk to when we hang out but i can just sit and be with them. it can be the same with God, he just wants to spend time with you.

when you dont read the word or spend time with God everyday- it is b/c you think you dont need to. or it is like when you fill yourself with the junk food of the world and then walk into a room full of a feast of all your favorite foods but you are too full to eat. we miss out b/c we had settled to early.

hawaii musings.

it is amazing how as i grow up, different things speak to me now then what used to. hawaii was absolutely gorgeous in every way. but the humble spirit of the hawaiians spoke to me so much - everyone smiles, says aloha, and will talk to you in what actually seems to be a caring way, i love it and i am drawn to it. i realized that there is still so much in me that God wants to deal with. i learned that surrounding myself with happiness and positivity will feed it to me. i think that whatever you surround yourself with you will become. if what you seek you will find- and if you think that in order to fix yourself that you have to keep seeking what is wrong with you -then all you will find is sin and all you will feel is dark. but if you seek kindness along with the other fruits of the spirit, then the darkness within will automatically by expelled and transformation will come natural. keep your eyes on the light- not what is in its spotlight

one day me and my sister were walking down front st (which is like carytown) and we saw a sign for island sandals so we followed the sign around to the back to this hole in the wall shop and we met this amazing old man.  me and jenna talked to him for awhile as he let us try on his sandals. i could tell he was wise. he quoted emerson and after jenna told him that she didnt have a major he told us that if she was an indian lad, his tribe would  give him a blanket, 2 matches, a piece of glass, and send him off on a horse to find out what his purpose is, to receive his vision. he said that he believes everyone has a purpose and if you find it then your life work will not be a job that you hate getting up everymorning for but that you will love it and the word retirement will not be a word in your vocabulary. he also told us that ancient hawaiians did not talk, but communicated by body language and mind force. they believe that if you had to use words then you were not smart ( for lack of words) and they would look down on you. that is amazing to me b/c i always hate how our language is so incapable of true expression.

i just started a book called Tao te ching which is a taoism fundamental text but also stands as one of the worlds most popular and inspiring works of great literature. it says this "the source of life...is beyond the power of words and labels to define or enclose- while it is true that we employ words and labels to outline our experience, they are not absolute and cannot define the absolute. when it all began there were no words or labels. these things were created our of the union of preception and perception." what we long for as humans is expression, communication, and to be understood.

Kimu's maui rules
-never judge a day by the weather
-the best things in life aren't things
-goals are deceptive: the unaimed arrow never misses
-he who dies with the most toys still dies
-age is relative- when youre over the hill you pick up speed
-there are two ways to be rich-make more or desire less
-beauty is internal-looks mean nothing
-no rain, no rainbows

"we search for happiness in eager anticipation, and joyful memories, but we're better off paying attention to each moment as it passes. we never learn to predict what will make us happy, or how to anticipate the impact of major life experiences."

"if only we'd stop trying to be happy, we'd have a pretty good time."
-edith wharton

if all you think about is what is to come then you will starve yourself from present happiness and devoid yourself the joy of now

"the only thing that stays the same is change" -sage francis

A priest once met Mother Teresa in her 'home for the dying' in Calcutta, India. He told her how much he respected her life and her ministry. He then asked that she pray he would have as much clarity in his own life. Mother Teresa looked at him and said no. She explained the one thing she never had was clarity ... she only ever had faith in her God.

hey from maui hawaii!