straniero
by lauren d'auria

aimless i walk the large coble stepping stones
of culture shock and nowhere does it say,
'you are here' on this map of identity city.
i dont know which bus to catch,
which bus driver to trust with my direction.
nouth sorth wast eest
wouth eorth sast nest
scusa, which was to affirmation?
make a right at via della confusion,
go through piazza de frustration, and
as you cross the bridge of surrender,
look both ways as you cross the intersection of trust.
my bed feels so warm in this unknown city,
but the loudness seeping through the ceiling
always forces me to explore.
the soundtrack ive put to my life
is the only familiar thing
because all i know is far beyond a train ride
and if it could be reached,
the key won't fit into the door of this season.


i love the view from the window in my room, it reminds me of the view over the farmers market in downtown richmond. 'by and large, our world has lost its sense of wonder. we have grown up. we have grown bigger and everything else smaller, less impressive. we get blase and worldly wise and sophisticated'-brennan manning. the world and my life here is so different and surreal but at the same time it could be just as easy to take this opportunity for granted and live in a 'been there done that attitude'. 'everyday we stand on the threshold of moral ruin, with everything at stake, the hour has struck for bold and resolute decision making. Lord dont let me prudently wrap my faith and deposit it in a hermetric container and seal the lid shut to then limp through life here in florence on spiritual childhood memories or resolutely refuse the challenge of growth and spiritual maturity.' i dont want to lose what you have entrusted to me thus far.
being here also makes me realize how amazing my friends are back home and how much i miss them. its really hard being somewhere and not knowing a local that can really show you around. i think a city- no matter what- up to a certain point, is only as fun as the ppl you are with there. ive been realizing how much affirmation i get from how many ppl i know and now that i dont really know that many i feel like i am losing my identity. it shows me how much i havent found my security and joy in the Lord.

5feb- carnivale 2005, venice
the streets were covered in confetti and packed with ppl and mostly everyone had on either a mask, face makeup, or a costume. i bought a mask and joined in. there were some ppl that went all out and made these extragavent detailed costumes. they were always surrounded with ppl taking their picture. streets were full of street performers, ppl playing intruments, and even lots of kids in costumes. venetians were all around yelling 'trucca!' offering to do your makeup. there were so many ppl that there was no room for even the pigeons to land. these girls i met- alyssa, allie, and kate and then me and aimee went to a bar 'Harry's' and alyssa treated us to balini's (a peach/champagne 14€ drink that the bar is famous for). after that we mainly wandered around ppl watching and taking in the beauty of venice. we crossed the rialto bridge and went to the opera house and warmed up with some hot wine.

6feb- Pisa
it ended up being the carnivale there too but it was directed towards mainly kids. lots of kids were running around in costumes and throwing confetti at eachother and spraying silly string. we went to the leaning tower, inside the church and saw the baptistry (the cupcake), went to the best gelateria in town and saw keith haring's tuttomondo mural (his last piece before he died)

7feb- YAB (you are beautiful) a local club
dana our roomate is friends with a club promoter, fabio. and she got us into a dinner which included water, wine, and 4 courses and desert. it was amazing food. all the tables were set up on the dance floor so after we were all done around midnight they broke everything down and the DJ started up. first there is always time that the breakdancers go at it..that was really cool and i got alot of awesome pictures. we left after that around 1. and fabio told me that dreads are big in italy.