this weekend was my fall break and friday i went home to go to busch gardens with my family for howl-o-scream. we went to haunted manors, graveyards, train rides and 4-d rides. me and my sister jenna werent scared but my mom was nervous. her and my dad liked wearing their 4-d glasses but i didnt. when we were on our way out me and jenna got caught off gaurd by skeletons. one got me. when i got out of his grip we called carmen san diego. and we were happy we got out safely . phew

this is a poem i wrote for my poetry class where we had to be someone else and speak from their perspective. i decided to use one of the pictures i found in the trash to base it off of

frank's lee
by lauren d'auria

when i was young i always wondered
what married life would be like
and how the father heart would feel
if my children created of me
would have such a power over me
tomorrow proves the anniversary of this truth
the test came as my son boarded that plane
he is in vietnam
the thought of it is frequent
tears and silence in my house even more
my wife shares my sadness and fear
for our son is the only thing we share
his letters are not enough
my resemblence in his face is all i want to see

anthropology essay#3

From observing my peers and I, I have definitely realized that the word “like” is often misused and hardly actually ever used correctly. There are two ways it is misused the most. ‘Like’ is a preposition and sometimes people will use it as a conjunction. For example, someone would say, “Rachel sings like I do,” making it sound as if you were intending a simile. The correct way would be to say, “Rachel sings as I do.”
The most common use of ‘like’ next to the verb form of it meaning enjoyment or to find pleasant, is when people use it to fill in a blank in a sentence. This making the word completely worthless in the sentence and often making the person saying sound ditzy and unsophisticated. For example, “She is like so cool.” It is used to put extra expression to a sentence in the wrong way. For example, “He like went like this when he kicked the ball.” This use of like in the beginning is making it seem as if the person is comparing something to another thing when in fact the person is simply describing what actually happened. Or when the person cannot think of what they are going to say they will use it as a filler. Others might use ‘um’ or ‘uh.’ I catch myself saying the word ‘like’ even when I was describing this paper to someone and had to laugh about it. I and most others that have been using the word ‘like’ for so long have to consciously think about not saying it and still we find ourselves filling in that gap with what seems like the unavoidable word.
I have always wondered if there is a word similar to ‘like’ that other languages have. There probably is, knowing that there is an incorrect grammar form of every language when it comes to slang.

vote for bush

tv is after all the modern day roman coliseum.
human devastation as mass entertainment.

"Our journey begins with longing. And before longing is the longing to long. It is the yearning to desire Him. We find in our hearts an awakening that beckons longing and paves the way for desire. It begins with the Lord Himself placing His divine drawing upon the heart of the one who loves Him. We find ourselves desiring to desire Him and pained by the present shallowness of our hearts. He awakens us to the great obsession of Himself, and we find this new ache within our hearts: our lack of love and absence of tenderness. We begin to hunger for the capacity to hunger. We begin to thirst for the ability to thirst. The longing to long is the escort into longing itself. It is the God-ordained gateway into the true gift of God to crave Him with all of our beings. With hearts empowered by a divine ache, we cry out for more of God. We search for any sign of Him. This is the precise position that He wants us to be in. It is the hungry that He fills. It is the desirous that He satisfies. All divine longing is a gift. The longing prior to the felt-experience is just as much a part of loving Him as the experience itself. They go hand in hand and cannot be separated. The initial longing is an irreplaceable part of the eternal intimacy. Both the craving and the satisfaction are equal parts of the gift of intimacy. He is cultivating longing in your heart. He desires more than a recognition of His greatness; He wants a desperation and lovesick yearning to come to maturity within you. And so for a time you remain in this breach between the reach for and the fulfillment of superior pleasures. He is enlarging the capacity of our hearts to experience the pleasure of His presence by withholding it." -dana candler

It takes God to love God, and He Himself must place within us the love with which we love Him. "...For it is God who works in you both to will [desire] and to do for His good pleasure" (Phil. 2:13).

"lovers bloom in the arid desert wind. we are traveling across a vast desert. we didnt choose the desert. it chose us. it is in our bones. we are the children of abraham, of isaac, of jacob. we are a nomadic people called to pilgrimage. at times, we may deny the desert. with enough music and singing and dancing and laughter, we might just drown out the pangs deep within our soul. yet sometimes, the deep longing throbs loud enough to wake us up and remind us of our soul-parching thirst for the fountain of divine love. in these moments of absolute weakness, of absolute dependence, we can do nothing but simply ache for the presence of God. this helplessness, this longing, this desire, is a sign that love has already reached out to use and is drawing us ever closer, ever upward into His heart. but the desert has so drained us that we are too weak to try to impress Him. we cannot perform amazing feats of prayer and fasting. we cannot muster the strength to stand tall and go charging forth as valiant warriors. instead, like a mumbling drunk or dying Savior, we simply cry out, "i thirst." and He comes and satisfies our thirst with a spring of love that knows no bounds." -doug floyd

silence preferred
by lauren d'auria

stepped out of reality
when i rang out my phone
only to miss my right now
to get caught in the space age
of being two places at once.
my focus was lead
to the receiving end
murmur talking head.
once again caught in that web
two places at once
all my focus leading
to a pile of redundence.
not in front of me i spoke
the absurdity of it all
to the midair with a name.
disconnected i looked forward
to what is to come
but missed its intimacy.
i draw my friendships
out in pencil
will erase if need be.
always caught up
stuck up flip up emulation
in the potential of the moment
that i dont find myself in it
upon the recollection.

the weather is becoming more and more amazing. autumn is definately my favorite time of the year. the warmness still lingers but the breeze blows cool. my heart waits for my apartment to turn off the a/c and have my windows open to the city. secretly i already have one open.

announcement: no longer a vegan. origionally me and laney were just talkin and were like, 'we should be vegans for a month' and so i held my word even though she didnt. but i feel like God is saying that it shouldnt be based on that but should be based on conviction. and so he is not givin me the grace to do it at all and my pride was keepin me from givin up. when people ask me why i am a vegetarian i have reasoning but when ppl ask me why im a vegan i am left speechless with an i duno answer. and it shouldnt be that way.

"there is little pleasure in having nothing to do, the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it." -mary little

today my inconvenience turned into a blessing. i was excited i had time in between classes to sit in the park and realized i forgot something and had to walk back home. but when i was on my way back to the park i found something that excited me so much. i found a splendid record of picture treasures. seven pages of an old strangers photo album. i wonder if they lived in 108 harrison- the deserted house that is just now being renovated. i am so excited about finding them. why were they forgotten about and thrown away by another? were they owned by the guy who died, talked about in the article on one of the pages? were those memories captured, sad reminders of nostalgia? i want to make up stories about each one. turn that trash into art. ones trash is anothers treasure

saw mewithoutYou tonight. wow they are my favorite band live, when it comes to stage presence, for sure no doubt about it. they came to our local plan 9 record store and did a free in store show. they got there late b/c of a flat tire and only got to play about 5 songs but its ok b/c they are so so good. cant say it enough. if ya ever get the chance to see them please do. they are kinda hardcore and i dont like hardcore but this band is my only exception. so yes i bought the new cd and it is pretty good. i think i like the first one better though. after the show they stayed around and signed and gave away free posters and stickers. all the guys seem so nice. they are a christian band too. one of those bands that i feel is worthy to be "invited to join in the larger discussion of the mainstream."

Caedmon's Call
The Truth

I've been putting on and putting off too many people
And I'm getting old to live
like an injured man, ailments and unfilled prescriptions,
like the nose on my face
Like a broken boat, a safety raft, and a love for the water
Well I just can't decide
To sink or swim, it's me or them, Should I save myself
or go back for the others

Because maybe there's no gray and I was wrong to tell 'em so
And then maybe all that I've to do was done a long time ago

Because there was life before my life
There was provision before my need
There was redemption before my sin
For the sake of the world I thank the Lord
That the truth's not contingent on me

Because I've been dressing up and dressing down for too many people
And I'm a little young to live
Like a troubled boy, a troubled soul, a fish out of water
Because we're all just the same
We're all just as good, and just as bad, and just as distracted
By the corners of our eyes
As our fathers were, and theirs before and all those before them,
And still I glance around

And with the way I stare you'd think I'd seen through a two-by-four
And with the way I walk you'd think I'd never seen grace before

Because there was life before my life
There was provision before my need
There was redemption before my sin
For the sake of the world I thank the Lord
That the truth's not contingent on me

But I've been putting up, putting down too many things
That I know nothing about,
but I'm jealous of, holding pride as tight as I can
like she was my only daughter

Because there was life before my life
There was provision before my need
There was redemption before my sin
For the sake of the world I thank the Lord
That the truth's not contingent on me

'Cause the truth's not contingent on me.