(the gap between thinking and feeling)

they knew where i was gonna be way before i did.
wheat pasted onto an abandoned building-
trapped behind a 2-dimensional fence,
with my hands grasping the inevitable.

its funny, the way your mind tries to make sense out of chaos.
what you dont understand you can make mean anything.

who knows where an idea comes from.
our inspiration.
why do we imagine what we imagine?

according to plato, we don't learn anything.
our soul has lived so many lives that we know everything.
teachers and education can only remind us of what we already know

-diary

yes

© llovelyyyy

just for the record, the weather today is getting really, really pissy right about now

drown

(rabbitproduction)

i do not know which to prefer,
the beauty of inflections or the beauty of innuendos.

the mystical meets the industrial revolution.

handwriting analysis and method acting, angel says they both got popular at the same time. stanislavski studied the work of pavlov and his drooling dog and the work of neurophysiologist I M sechenov. before that, edgar allen poe studied graphology. everybody was trying to link the physical and the emotional. the body and the mind. the world and the imagination. this world and the next.

moving mistys finger along the wall, he has her trace the words: "...the flood of you, with your bottomless hunger and noisy demands..."

whispering, angel says, "if emotion can create a physical action, then duplicating the physical action can re-create the emotion."

stanislavski, sechenov, poe, everybody was looking for some scientific method to produce miricles on demand, he says. an endless way to repeat the accidental. an assembly line to plan and manufacture the spontaneous.

-diary

all the effort in the world wont matter if youre not inspired

this was peters theory of self expression. the paradox of being a professional artist. how we spend our lives trying to express ourselves well, but we have nothing to tell. we want creativity to be a system of cause and effect. results. marketable product. we want dedication and discipline to equal recognition and reward. we get on our art school treadmill, our graduate program for a masters in fine arts, and practice, practice, practice. with all our excellent skills, we have nothing special to document. according to peter, nothing pisses us off more than when some strung out drug addict, a lazy bum, or a slobbering pervert creates a masterpiece. as if by accident. some idiot whos not afraid to say what they really love.

-diary

leolo

Because i dream, I'm not.

all I could think of
was a wonderful scene in a movie.
And as always,
I was a spectator
of my own life.

Because I dream, I'm not.
Because I dream. I dream...
Because at night I abandon
myself to my dreams.

með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust
eighteen seconds before sunrise
i was devasted because i somehow knew i was on borrowed time
the wind had been all but knocked out of me

I can't keep staring at your mouth without wondering how it tastes