09 March 2005

sorry i have not posted in awhile. i try not to get online much while i am here b/c i find myself gettin so caught up in whats going on back home that i forget that i am in italy. so yea enough of that.

last weekend was my first weekend that i stayed in florence since i got here and so i was excited to see what it would bring and couldnt wait to go to church for the first time too.

me and aimee went to this church called st james episcopal and it was a bit traditional...well really traditional but i really loved the reverand. it seemed very down to earth and personable. the serman was focused on the omnipresence of God in psalm 139 and he said, 'i cant say that God is somewhere b/c God is everywhere and i cant say that heaven is a place that we will go to b/c if so then Jesus, after the assention, might have reached the milky way by now'...ha. but i really love psalm 139..it is definately one of my favorites..especially the part that says, 'I look behind me and you're there,  then up ahead and you're there, too-- your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful-- I can't take it all in!

b/c the vastness of God's love is uncomprehensible but at the same time so attainable- if we just allow ourselves to receive it. i love that i can know that where ever and what ever i do...God's love is always consistant. (me and aimee were talkin one night about our sisters and how we love them so much. me and aimee are both the oldest and want so much for our sisters to know that we love and support them but it seems sometimes that no matter what , they can not be convinced b/c they feel like they wont add up or will always be compared to the older sister. but i got a revelation about that being how God is with us. my attempts to let my sister know i love her are a shallow comparion to the love letter that God has wrote to me, yet even after reading the word it is still so hard for me to accept this love)

"there is a spirit in man and the breath of the almighty gives him understanding-great men are not always wise-nor do the aged always understand justice" i can see that as i get older i feel like i am wiser because of experiencing more of life but also alot of times i feel so naive. i should always be in the mindset of learning but i feel like if i do that, then i will be interested in other things than God. God is secure with me saying that though because even if i dont realize it- He is security. Gods wholeness does not change based on my mood or opinion of Him. this is something i know that when i think i have convinced myself there could be another way -God reasures me. like during worship at hillsongs - i started crying b-c the lyrics really spoke in agreement with my heart and i cant even remember the song but all i know is that my spirit is alive and is always crying out from within. but as long as i ignore it or push it down or dont feed it the word, then -IT WILL STILL BE THERE! and that is the funny thing- i cant run away. if i sin and if my transgressions are multiplied they accomplish nothing against Him. it is not like we are some how getting back at God for our lack of devotion to Him. it is our fault that we dont listen to the only words that bring life. "God may speak in one way or in another yet man does not perceive it. while slumbering He opens the ears of men and seals their instruction in order to turn man from his deed." (job) so i am actually coming to think that it is impossible to drown myself out of the pool of conviction- so i might as well swim in it and stop pretending that i am cold, b/c it is a heated pool!

so this past weekend i was in london and yes it was amazing. we did all the tourist stuff offcourse and went to see the changing of the gaurds at buckingham palace, big ben, westminster abbey, st pauls, piccadily circus, oxford st, leicester square, trafalgar square (where i preceeded to start my new picture series of tourists taking picturse of eachother in front of famous monuments), tower bridge, london bridge (did you know that most ppl mistake the tower bridge as the london bridge b/c the original london bridge from the song was moved to arizona and the london bridge as of now is really plain and boring), we rode the tube all day long and loved it. went to the national gallery to see the caravaggio 'the last years' exhibition, we walked across the millennium bridge to the tate modern, national portrait gallery to see the frida kahlo portraits, and ate at local cafe's.

sunday night me and aimee went to Hillsong London and matt redman was guest worship leader. i felt right at home in God presence. i miss that atmosphere so much.

ill put pictures up soon.

"weeeeeeee!! that is what you say when you are having fun- you refer to yourself and some other people" -mitch hedberg

(i got a bike! it is beautiful- pink and white, big U-lock and a bell all for 32 euro!) cant wait to ride in giro

1 comment:

brock76 said...

I remember a time during my freshman year of college when I was struck by the constant, unchanging nature of God. Compared to my own failures and sin, I couldn't understand how God put up with me, much less loved me. But it was his unchanging love and grace he extended to me that broke me. I was in a chapel service and reciting a liturgy that paused and meditated on this concept and ended up crying for a long time.

glad you got to experience that.

peace, brock76