14 August 2004

dear paul,
im sitting here and staring at the wall trying not to think of the only thing that keeps coming to mind. misery. i feel trapped within my freedom left only walking aroundin familiar circles. im watching ,not trying but wanting to be someone that im not. i feel like im God's princess longing to explore beyond the confines of my palace seeking comfort and not this corsette. maybe i dont like beds with canapy's. maybe i dont want a life of luxory. what is it like to have nothing? or to not get of what ive asked? ive never known the common life, of working for a living and having to deny a desire only to get what i absolutely need. what is that? i dont think i would ever have to buy anything again. maybe if i dont want anymore then ill never be envious. maybe if i dont desire anymore then i will never be lacking. when will satisfaction come? is contentment around the corner? is the airvent open?
from lauren

dearest lauren,
before you gentiles knew God you were slaves to so called gods that do not even exist. and now that you have found God (or should is say, now that God has found you), why do you want to go back again and become slaves once more to the weak and useless spiritual powers of this world? you are trying to find favor with God by what you do or dont do on certain days or months or seasons or years. i fear for you. i am afraid all my hard work for you was worth nothing. dear brothers and sisters i plead with you to live as i do in freedom from these things [gal 4:8-12]
you were getting along so well. who has interfered with you to hold you back from following the truth? it certainly isnt God, for he is the one who called you to freedom [gal 5:7-8]
dont get tired of doing what is good. dont get discouraged and give up, for we reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time [gal 6:9]
from paul

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