"Oh God I'm Gay is a new weekly audio podcast with host Alicia Ross introducing you to a variety of accomplished community and spiritual leaders from all different faiths, backgrounds, and points of view. She aims to gain insight into their unique spiritual journeys while exploring relevant social issues that affect the LGBT community."

this is obviously something that haunts me. not necessarily in a bad way but its something that i has been a constant battle for me in my head. just the way i have been told to think for so long. and going through a phase of trying to run from my convictions- but i know that God is not someone i can hide from. but at the same time i will not deny my homosexuality. so the dichotomy remains and will remain. this podcast will help me hear from ppl in the ministry or that are living a spiritual life and are gay. ppl that went through the same thing i am. hopefully ill be able to find someone in dc that i can meet w in person. spiritual counseling is something i kind of crave right now

lots of thought has been provoked. there is more then one reason why i moved to dc.

i have a lot of free time right now. one- because i just have one job right now that is giving me only 1-3 shifts a week. and two- bc i dont know that many ppl around here yet. but i think there is a reason for this season in my life. to really face myself and my thoughts. this is more then scary. all my insecurities surface when i am not able to distract myself. im really lucky to have stephanie to encourage me through this.

just finished this the other day. amazing book. it follows the story of a 9 y/o boy whos dad died in sept 11th. the boy finds a key in his dads room and makes it his goal to find out what the key opens. those who love the movie everything is illuminated need to read this book. (i have yet to read the novel that inspired it but am planning on it very soon- bc the book is always better then the movie) it is the latest book by the same author. such a detailed writer. the book really makes you want to keep reading and even has pictures!


this book is a series of essays. some are good some failed to hold my attention, but in general it's a pretentious but funny book. he does make some very good points about pop culture that's for sure.


this is my current read. it is written one of my favorite authors, who also wrote Tuesdays with Morrie and five people you meet in heaven. the first few chapters leave me very intrigued.

even though i hate the cold i am excited to fall back into hibernation for the winter and get caught up in lots of books. I'm not gonna buy my scooter till the spring bc i know ill neglect it. plus i have been enjoying my 6 block walk to the bus stop and effortless $1.35 ride to work.

4

Montreal was indeed as endearing as id imagined and crossing the border was very 'ex'citing. even tho a french speaking midget did not greet us at the door of our hostel, everything else was quite perfect. we had our own little key to our own private little wooden gypsy caravan. it was just the right size for us. we got an unlimited metro card to freely tote us around for 6 days. and we went everywhere. we saw every part of the city and the part we stayed in, the old city, was by far my favorite. the whole city is very European feeling, besides the fact that everyone speaks french. the streets are narrow and lead to lots of intriguing alleys. its a place i could see us living. i liked the juxtaposed feeling of similarity amongst newness and variety. the feeling of being in another country but yet being close to home. (i don't like that there isn't an additional stamp in my passport.)

pop.pop.pop.pop.pop.pop

Hot Chip
You Say Party! We Say Die!
Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds
Ratatat
Black Kids
Brazilian Girls
Julie Doiron
The Dears
Akron/Family
Burt Bacharach
Laura Marling
etc.....

Montreal awaits us. we are catching the greyhound tonight. stopping for a 6am breakfast in new york and off to Canada! it will be my first time visiting this french speaking city. we are staying in a hostel in the old city, and getting a private room that is supposed to resemble a gypsy caravan. we will eat crepes and see the city by day, and go to shows and wander the streets holding hands by night. yes- quite romantic. the bugs will bite.

note to self:
bring ryan back some sand

life is amazing and has been flowing so smoothly lately. (minus the 3 parking tickets i got w in the last 2 weeks)

me and stephanie were going on two and a half months driving back and forth between richmond and dc to see each other and we are finally in the same city and loving every second of it! when i got back from seattle i spent a few days in richmond to say my goodbyes, packed my life into my SUV and headed north to my new home- washington dc.

im considering this move a new start, a fresh start to a lot of different areas in my life. new people, new scenery, a new city to discover. ideas are being thrown around for zines and art projects. i left 3 restaurant jobs in richmond behind and got a job right away at this brand new french fusion restaurant called 1905. (2 of the same owners as sticky rice dc). im a server and stephanie is workin in the kitchen. (baby is real busy workin two jobs! but we are gonna try and get on the same sched)

today i am going to start using the good ol' city bus until i get my scooter. next week we leave for montreal!

here are some pictures of our new room. we love our house and living w wendy, and of course living w lady!

seattle

gum wall/pike place market

good try

so Sept 1st was the day i was supposed to move to Seattle. these plans were pleasantly changed but i decided to go ahead and book a return flight and go on a little vacation.
as you may or may not know- i travel quite a bit and it has never been a problem for me. the 1 1/2 hour flight to Atlanta and the 4 hour flight to Seattle are a breeze compared to the two 24 hr flights Ive taken back and forth to Asia twice in one summer. today was a little different.
my flight was scheduled to leave at 1148am and i was planning on rolling out of bed at 10 and arriving at Richmond international around 1030 w plenty of time. Stephanie came in to town to see me one last time before we would be separated for 9 days. me, her, Jenna and Kate just spent a relaxing night in watching Indian films and eating late night pizza. no harm right?
unfortunately me and Stephanie were hit with what we think was food poisoning, waking up extremely nauseous around 8am and spending our remaining hours together next to the toilet. we made it to the airport and parked the car around 1045 and attempted to walk only a few feet before we both thought we were gonna pass out. Stephanie walked back to sit down for a second and ended up throwing up and i followed right behind. sucks for the owner of the vomit splashed Tahoe SUV to the left of us along with my brand new river club slip on shoes that have an unintentional light orange pattern across the tops.
i got to the check in counter just in time to board my flight and thought that since i had thrown up that everything would be fine. just in case, when i got on the plane i warned the flight attendants of how i was feeling and asked for some crackers and ginger ale to calm my stomach.
luckily i got an entire row to myself and was able to lay all the way across w a blanket to keep me warm. thirty minutes before landing in Atlanta it hit me- i started feeling lightheaded and hit the flight attendant call button, for the 3rd time, to ask for some water and help to the bathroom. good thing because i made it barely out of my seat before i passed out and woke up with 4 people over top of me asking my name along with small talk to make sure i was ok. they put an oxygen mask on me for the remainder of the trip and made sure i knew everything was going to be ok and that my flight would be rebooked free of charge.
when we reached the terminal the EMT was waiting for me. they checked my blood pressure and temperature and told me they would recommend taking me to the hospital to get further checked. still queasy, i told them i wanted to go ahead on to Seattle. next they pricked my finger to check my blood sugar. i started getting really lightheaded again and passed out soon after but this time it was worse. i wasn't unconscious but i could barely see and i couldn't walk or even keep my head up. so the EMT made the decision for me that i was going to the hospital. so they wheeled me out to the ambulance, lifted me up onto a stretcher and hooked me up to an IV and liquids. it was official- i was not going to Seattle tonight.
when i got to the hospital i was feeling a little bit better but still really weak. they had to take my blood, take a urine test, they put those circle heart monitor stickers all over me, took two xrays of my chest, and i felt like, at such a young age, i was falling apart. i was in the hospital room for close to 4 hours before i was discharged. i was alone and there were times i had no idea what was going on- if i was gonna be sent back to Richmond or given the ok to go on to Seattle. but even though i was there by myself i felt very loved with everyone back home checking up on me every hour. and everything ended up ok. they gave me a voucher for a free cab ride back to the airport. the lady at the check in desk was very understanding of what had happened and recommended i stay in a hotel for the night and fly out in the morning. so that's exactly what i did. country inn. Seattle, ill see you tomorrow. my trip is gonna be fucking amazing after having to deal with all this! and add another 'ridiculous place to pass out' onto my list.