its easy here to not really be held accountable b/c there is always
so much going on and so many ppl and so many passerbyers and facades.
so truthfully im not doing that great spiritually besides the truth
that Jesus blood still covers my indifference and if it wasnt for his
pursuit of me then i would be a wanderer without a cause. i have been
kind of reading the sacred romance and there is this part that is a
breath of fresh air for me:
'so as long as we imagine that it is we who have to look to god, we
must often lose heart. but it is the other way about; he is looking
for us. and so we can afford to recognize that very often we are not
looking for god; far from it, we are in full flight from him, in high
rebellion against him. and he knows that and has taken it into
account. he has followed us into our own darkness; there where we
thought finally to escape him, we run straight into his arms. so we do
not have to erect a false piety for ourselves, to give us the hope of
salvation. our hope is in his determination to save us, and we will
not give in.'
so yea im hangin in there. prayers would be good even tho i havent
prayed in awhile i guess that means i dont believe that they work or
are simply legalistic acts. i think that i have come to the conclusion
that a prayer is a wordless utter from the very beat of our heart. and
if we try and put our longings and desires to words then we can only
screw it up or limit it.
sorry this was a downer on my part but im learning how to be real w/ myself.
so to sum it all up im havin so much fun but at the end of the day i am
still empty and hate time alone b/c i truly feel not only alone but
lonely.
something that makes me really happy! yesturday i booked my flight to granada, spain! it was only 394 with tax!!! so im going! oct 14-23. i didnt think that i was goin to beable to come but then i found that flight and told my dad and he said that it was really cheap but he still had to think about it and then that night he called me and was like, 'i guess God told me that you can go to spain b/c we just got your security deposit refund check back from your apartment for $370' and this morning i talked to my mom and she said, 'things look like they are workin out for you, ask and you shall receive!' yaaaaa
17 June 2005
16 June 2005
14 June 2005
ok so we just got internet at my house here in nashville. so i am just now gettin to update you all. so it was an 11 hour drive here and only a week after my returning from florence. while i was home my parents had lots of family get togethers and cook outs and i had to move out of my aptmt in richmond, my moms bday all that week. so it was really busy and gave me no time to think about being back in the states except that it was weird using american money and i felt dumb using my first language. it just has been really too comfortable. now that i am away from ppl that speak and understand italian i really want to use it. so yea i havent been allowing myself to get stuck in nostalgia at all. the last 4 months in florence were i think just so surreal that my mind cant justify it as being real. but i have continued in the pattern of traveling.
so where i live is a perfect location, right in hillsboro village walking distance from the 'carytown' of nashville and the two best coffee shops in town.
i have been looking for a job..somewhat. im not really stressed out about it b/c i have been having so much fun just hanging out w/ ppl and i have met so many wonderful amazing ppl that i wont want to leave in august!
observation:
an old man across from me leans over to pick up a napkin and obsessivly whipes the table of its cleanness. (he must be a virgo) he evenly takes sips of his water and coffee, setting them perfectly back in to place. he has his wife beater shirt tucked neatly into his loose sweatpants with his phone clamped like a business mans on the side of the elastic. he has a live strong bracelet on his right wrist and a loose watch, facing in, on his left. an army tag empliments his right nike shoe. he stares intently out the window as he sips his cup continuously every 30 seconds with out fail. his water cup is empty and he looks at it wondering if another refill would be refreshing enough for him to walk over to get a refill.
i love making eye contact with strangers. i think because no matter if we ever meet- we automatically become a part of eachtothers life. maybe we will remember eachother -maybe not but it is recorded onto the memory track as an event of passing moments.
this past weekend i went to bonnaroo and it was ridiculous the amount of amazing bands that i saw in three and a half days: perpetual groove, gabby la la featuring les claypool, ollebelle, josh ritter, allison krauss and union station, madaleine peyroux, ray lamontagne, dave matthews band, brazilian girls, the mars volta, kings of leon, blue merle, rilo kiley, jack johnson, keller williams, iron and wine, secret machines, matisyahu, amos lee, dr. dog, keren ann, my morning jacket, the word, and modest mouse
beat that!
yea and the new coldplay and so freakin good i cant handle it and i bought my concert ticket to see them in sept and im countin down!~ cant wait!
so where i live is a perfect location, right in hillsboro village walking distance from the 'carytown' of nashville and the two best coffee shops in town.
i have been looking for a job..somewhat. im not really stressed out about it b/c i have been having so much fun just hanging out w/ ppl and i have met so many wonderful amazing ppl that i wont want to leave in august!
observation:
an old man across from me leans over to pick up a napkin and obsessivly whipes the table of its cleanness. (he must be a virgo) he evenly takes sips of his water and coffee, setting them perfectly back in to place. he has his wife beater shirt tucked neatly into his loose sweatpants with his phone clamped like a business mans on the side of the elastic. he has a live strong bracelet on his right wrist and a loose watch, facing in, on his left. an army tag empliments his right nike shoe. he stares intently out the window as he sips his cup continuously every 30 seconds with out fail. his water cup is empty and he looks at it wondering if another refill would be refreshing enough for him to walk over to get a refill.
i love making eye contact with strangers. i think because no matter if we ever meet- we automatically become a part of eachtothers life. maybe we will remember eachother -maybe not but it is recorded onto the memory track as an event of passing moments.
this past weekend i went to bonnaroo and it was ridiculous the amount of amazing bands that i saw in three and a half days: perpetual groove, gabby la la featuring les claypool, ollebelle, josh ritter, allison krauss and union station, madaleine peyroux, ray lamontagne, dave matthews band, brazilian girls, the mars volta, kings of leon, blue merle, rilo kiley, jack johnson, keller williams, iron and wine, secret machines, matisyahu, amos lee, dr. dog, keren ann, my morning jacket, the word, and modest mouse
beat that!
yea and the new coldplay and so freakin good i cant handle it and i bought my concert ticket to see them in sept and im countin down!~ cant wait!
31 May 2005
27 May 2005
"the goosebump moments that you feel all the way down in your soul, are the ones that grow you" -my mom
14may- florence
i sat in my room seeing it as it was when i got to italy-bare walls, unpacked, a lonely kind of unhomey place, and even worse- i was there alone that night b/c dana had left for spain and aimee for rome. i thought about how much i was gonna miss them both. there was a definate openness that came between us three. we never shut the door when we went to the bathroom and we changed infront of eachother, it was just comfortable like sisters. and im gonna miss that. i feel like as a person i have changed. in what ways i cant exactly pinpoint but its for the good. i would love to stay but my time is over there. the day before i climbed the duomo's dome with a friend and he was asking me about God and hell and Jesus and as i answered him i had to listen to myself. as i told him that i have found my peace and my hope in God- something snapped and my spirit was nodding inside reminding me of its presence and comfort for the past 6 years of being one with this God. that yes, i have found the living water and i will never thirst again. Jesus is my foundation and there is no turning back on the house that is being built inside of me. this layer of bricks is almost completed and the next will begin. so it didnt matter if i cried when i left- its ok b/c i have taken in all that had happened there. all that i was suposed to and that knowledge and peace balanced out my sadness
15may- taormina
on two hours of sleep, me and allie (my friend i met in florence at school that is from boston) caught our flight to catania, sicily. when we arrived we caught the bus to taormina, dropped our stuff off at the hostel and went to the beach! the weather was gorgeous. we laid around till 4 and we couldnt go in the water all the way so i just laid in the sand where the water washed up for awhile. then we decided to get full body messages right on the beach for only 15 euro! yea amazing i know! on our way back to the funavia sky ride up the mountain, as we were walking up the road we saw this guy. i thought he was just peeing but as we got closer we saw that, yea, his pants were on the ground and he was jerking off! we couldnt believe it! it was so discusting. so anyways, once we got back to the hostel and washed the salt off us we got dressed and went to dinner. we went down this random side street and found the perfect place that had just what we wanted. but it was about to get even better- there is a thing in italy about the restaurants sitting you at a table with other ppl that you dont know if there is room so they sat us w/ this older couple. i over heard them talking english so i asked them where they were from and then all 4 of us ended up talking for like 2 hours over dinner. they were even sharing their wine with us. there were so nice, and as we were about to leave we got their email and i told them about my favorite crepe stand (which the crepe guy actually remembered me from spring break) and then our bill came and they paid it! so we had to top off that great day with a conolo and my favorite drink, capiroska, and my favorite bar, cafe marrakech and on our way home we drank from the fountains (we kept seeing ppl doing it- even parents lifting up their kids for a sip.) and yes it was amazing, fresh mountain water.
16may- taormina
got my favorite mozerella, tomato and olive oil sandwich.
left the beach around 2 b/c we had sunstroke
i bought 2 new bathing suits. that night we ate at this amazing restaurant called granduca thatw as overlooking the sea and the town. i had eggplant parm and we split sicilian torta for desert. we went back to the hostel and played cards until midnight and we went to bed.
17may- taormina/lipari
woke up and had coffee with some aussies at the hostel and then went to have the traditional sicilian breakfast- gelato in a brioche! walking through the center in taormina was great with our giant backpacks on. from there we caught the bus to messina and then a train to milazzo and a bus to the port. while we were waiting for the hydrofoil to lipari island we started talkin to this lady. she spoke zero english. she was giving us all these history lessons on milazzo and the islands. when we got there she gave us a ride to our hotel and gave us her card and said "amiche" (friends) and to call us if we needed anything. when we walked into the hotel we entered through the garden, we gave her our passports, she told us we had free internet and then walked us to our room. it was around back. yea we basically had our own private villa with 2 sets of double doors, one that is our main doors that go to our front yard with huge palm trees and cacti and the other went out onto our balcony over looking a wall of honeysuckle! we had a queen size bed and a twin bed and our own bathroom! we couldnt believe it! and our package included a free scooter and a free excursion to panarea and stromboli islands. that night we slept with the storm doors open with the cross breeze coming through the shudders. we joked about being able to do snow angels in our bed without hitting eachother b/c it was that big.
18may- lipari/scooter day
neither of us had either driven on before and i wanted. it took a bit to get used to it but when i did i loved it so much and i got good quick. we drove all the way around the island once without stopping and then we went around again to make all the stops. first stop- granite- it is like a slurpee but made with real fruit. we stopped at a few souvineer and fruit stands. the winding roads reminded me of the road to hana in maui. there was a lot of breaking and once we found the horn we honked it as we went around tight corners. after nearly getting back around the island we saw a sign that might be pointing us towards the thermal baths so we went that was and it ended up being pretty steep roads. we kept going until an extremely steep one and my attempt to turn around went like this: we were rolling down the hill that we were on backwards to i gave it some gas to turn it and then we were parallel w/ the hill so i gave it more gas to turn it more around but it didnt turn tight enough so i slammed the breaks before i ran into the bushes and the weight of the bike on the hill fell sideways and i flew off! allie had jumped off the back before it fell and ran to pick the bike up and turn it off so the gas wouldnt come out. then she came over and luckily had tissues,and bandaids to stop all my bleeding. my left hand and foot we pretty cut up and my helmet had cut me above my left eyebrow. luckily thats it. so laid in the street for awhile and drank water b/c i was getting light headed and allie franticly called the rental place and went to the houses nearby. nobody was home and we were in the middle of no where and couldnt comunicate in italian what had happened or where we were. then from behind us hikers came down. 3 walked right by me and smiled and waved! ha! i couldnt believe it! next the tour guide came down and we put him on the phone to talk in italian. while we were waiting for the rental guys to come, the guide gave me a piggy back ride down the hill and we saw a snake strangling a mouse and hissing at it about to eat it. the rental guys drove us back to the hotel and then the hotel guy took me to the hospital on his vespa to get cleaned up. im glad this fall happened in a worthy place being in italy.
19may- vulcano
we caught the hydrofoil to the island of vulcano and as soon as we got there we rented a mini car. we named it paffuto (chubby). we drove it to the other side of the island to one of 2 destinations on this isand, gelso. the drive was gorgeous and totally different than lipari. it looked like we were in the austrailian tundra. we were expecting at any moment to see giraffes and elefants stampeed across the plains. we gave eachother names: alligator sifari later and lolodrillo safari illo during the excursion. when we got to gelso we parked and walked down the one path, lined with bamboo and at the end there was this deserted lighthouse. we walked around back b/c i had to pee so bad that i just pulled down my shorts right there. the drive back was rough b/c when ever we went down hill the car would basically throw itself out of gear. but we made it and we parked it to go to the 5 stores and eat at 1 of the 3 restaurants. then we found the thermal baths! it reeked of sulfur which if you dont know, smells like rotten eggs but we had to get in. our last stop before leavin the island was to drive back up to this graveyard we passed on the way to gelso. it was the most amazing, different, unique, beautiful graveyard that ive ever seen. i cant even really explain it except that there were actual pictures on the gravestones of whole graves they were. like modern pictures- pretty freaky. we ended the night smoking cigars over a bridge on the water.
20may- lipari/panarea/stromboli
we went to the beach before leaving to go to panarea stromboli islands. we took a boat with a guided group and our first stop was panarea. it was very remote but gorgeous and there seemed to be a color code of white and dark teal b/c when you looked out over the city that was everything. on our way to stromboli we stopped and circled this huge lava mass rock or a tiny island with nothing but a lighthouse on it and stairs twisting up to it. we had three hours to walk around stromboli. it was pretty amazing to think how different all these islands are from eachother. this island also was pretty remote but i could tell- very family oriented. and there was art everywhere on the walls and doors. and obviously including volcanos b/c that is what the island is. and yes it is active. there were black sand beaches and all the rocks are pumos. i bought a kiwi for 20 euro cents and walked down them trying to embrace the moment b/c time had been truly flying. it was great being able to be there without thinking about what school work was due on monday. at 8 we got back on the boat and went around the other side of the island, anchored and watched the volcano erupt. it was shooting little spurts of lava, some bigger than others, only a few that spit over the side but even so- it was really cool and the first time i saw one.
21may- lipari
we went to the beach all day but the night was the cool part. we had met this girl on the beach from florida that told us about this music thing goin on down at the port that night so we went with her and her mom. the show started with this beautiful water foundtain light show that was going to music. then these women dancing with torches and a woman that was dancing, lifted into the air by about 100 massive white balloons, in the air as she flew. this amazing band played- they were like an italian folk band. then a guy came up to read poetry as the band played and in between fireworks. and it ended with probly the best fireworks show ive ever seen in my life. it even kept going after the finally. it was such a gorgeous day and it will be sad to leave b/c when we walk down the streets we see ppl that we know and see everyday- it feels comforting to think about living in a small enough town where you could actually know everyone. i could live in europe but for now- yes i am excited to live in nashville.
22may- taormina
on the train from messina to taormina, while we were waitin in the station for it to leave (it was an hour late) a guy came through and gave us all a bag with a tomato sandwich and a huge bottle water for free as an apology by the train system. little blessings like that make life so sweet. when we arrived in taormina we were waiting for the bus and this girl with dreads asked me if we wanted a ride up to the center. she was so nice. she was meeting her mom and we walked with her until we found her- ended up that she was one of the women that has a table outside selling random things. it was such a great thing seeing this girl run up to her mom and hiss and hug her. it gave me a whole new dimention to the street vendors. b/c i walk by them everyday but dont really think about their families. that was such a great thing to veiw. its awesome being able to trust ppl and receive the blessings they want to give. me and allie were talking about how we just seem to keep running into the right ppl. this morning when we were waiting for the hydrofoil i was just sitting and drinking my tea and the poetry reader from the night before at the music thing came up and started talking to me. and in the car going up to taormina, the other lady they gave a ride to ended up being the one that was singing that night at the greek theater.
23may- taormina/florence
we got up and went to the beach with this girl and guy that had studied in florence that semester too. we laid our stuff down by the water where there were all these flat rocks. it ended up that on the other side of them it was deep enough to jump in. i juts sat there for awhile and watched the fish and the clearness of the water that ill miss. finally i jumped in and it was cold but cool b/c if i moved slowly i could see each rock i walked across back to shore on. at around 2 we went back to catch the bus to the airport. allie watched our stuff while i went in to get us food and when i came back she said that we had to move b/c of this crazy guy that smells really bad. i saw him and he was talkin to himself as he was poaring his beer and then i got up and he had literally crapped his pants and i could see it. he was really drunk and makin a scene goin around yellin at ppl. when he came to sit back down we had to move b/c we couldnt breath from the smell. then these two older guys walked by and one saw that i was writin in my journal in english so they stopped to talk to us. turns out that they were undercover cops and they invited us to their office for coffee. once we got back to florence i dropped my stuff off at sara's and then me, dana, sara, and allie went to art bar for our last daiquiri and then we went to i 5 tavoli to say by the everyone and then went to the secret bakery for the last time. by then it was 330 . i ended up sleeping one hour in a chair before i left for the airport at 430. it was crazy but everything went smoothly. in frankfurt i had a 3 hour lay over and when i went over to my gate i ran into pastor doug! (my pastor from home in richmond) he was on his way home from latvia. it was great gettin to sit and talk with him as he caught me up with all that had been goin on at the church and all the weddings that are coming up. after he left to get on his flight i was just sitting reading the paper and i looked over and this girl, probly 3 y/o with platinum blonde curly hair wend over to pick up the paper off the table and sat in a chair and pretended like she was reading it- then she laid on the floor over the paper with her fists under her chin 'to read.' i kept looking over and she'd be looking at me and then smile- so precious!
so everything went smoothly on my flight and getting through customs was easy and my parents and sister were waiting for me with a ciao bella sign! and my dad had a rose for me. they were so cute and i was so happy to see them. so i have been home since tuesday and it has been a great transition and im countin down the days till i go to nashville!
im going to miss traveling with out the worry of figuring out how to get there. im gonna miss living 2 minutes walking distance from the train station and the train system that can take me where ever i feel like going- for just a small price and my time, with the gorgeous veiw of watching italy go by me for free. i have learned how to pakc light and look for goodness in every annoying moment like waiting 2 hours for a train. it will be luxory to beable to go to stores at all hours of the day since i am used to them being closed for lunch between 1 and 3. 24/7 stores will be breathtaking. dealing with money with out converting it in my head will be nice but ill miss tax being already added in and the price listed being the price that i pay. it will be weird to have a car again. i dont know if i want one anymore.
if my thoughts were food than id be a binge eater- but as of now it sure is a lot of mystery meat and i am a vegetarian.
14may- florence
i sat in my room seeing it as it was when i got to italy-bare walls, unpacked, a lonely kind of unhomey place, and even worse- i was there alone that night b/c dana had left for spain and aimee for rome. i thought about how much i was gonna miss them both. there was a definate openness that came between us three. we never shut the door when we went to the bathroom and we changed infront of eachother, it was just comfortable like sisters. and im gonna miss that. i feel like as a person i have changed. in what ways i cant exactly pinpoint but its for the good. i would love to stay but my time is over there. the day before i climbed the duomo's dome with a friend and he was asking me about God and hell and Jesus and as i answered him i had to listen to myself. as i told him that i have found my peace and my hope in God- something snapped and my spirit was nodding inside reminding me of its presence and comfort for the past 6 years of being one with this God. that yes, i have found the living water and i will never thirst again. Jesus is my foundation and there is no turning back on the house that is being built inside of me. this layer of bricks is almost completed and the next will begin. so it didnt matter if i cried when i left- its ok b/c i have taken in all that had happened there. all that i was suposed to and that knowledge and peace balanced out my sadness
15may- taormina
on two hours of sleep, me and allie (my friend i met in florence at school that is from boston) caught our flight to catania, sicily. when we arrived we caught the bus to taormina, dropped our stuff off at the hostel and went to the beach! the weather was gorgeous. we laid around till 4 and we couldnt go in the water all the way so i just laid in the sand where the water washed up for awhile. then we decided to get full body messages right on the beach for only 15 euro! yea amazing i know! on our way back to the funavia sky ride up the mountain, as we were walking up the road we saw this guy. i thought he was just peeing but as we got closer we saw that, yea, his pants were on the ground and he was jerking off! we couldnt believe it! it was so discusting. so anyways, once we got back to the hostel and washed the salt off us we got dressed and went to dinner. we went down this random side street and found the perfect place that had just what we wanted. but it was about to get even better- there is a thing in italy about the restaurants sitting you at a table with other ppl that you dont know if there is room so they sat us w/ this older couple. i over heard them talking english so i asked them where they were from and then all 4 of us ended up talking for like 2 hours over dinner. they were even sharing their wine with us. there were so nice, and as we were about to leave we got their email and i told them about my favorite crepe stand (which the crepe guy actually remembered me from spring break) and then our bill came and they paid it! so we had to top off that great day with a conolo and my favorite drink, capiroska, and my favorite bar, cafe marrakech and on our way home we drank from the fountains (we kept seeing ppl doing it- even parents lifting up their kids for a sip.) and yes it was amazing, fresh mountain water.
16may- taormina
got my favorite mozerella, tomato and olive oil sandwich.
left the beach around 2 b/c we had sunstroke
i bought 2 new bathing suits. that night we ate at this amazing restaurant called granduca thatw as overlooking the sea and the town. i had eggplant parm and we split sicilian torta for desert. we went back to the hostel and played cards until midnight and we went to bed.
17may- taormina/lipari
woke up and had coffee with some aussies at the hostel and then went to have the traditional sicilian breakfast- gelato in a brioche! walking through the center in taormina was great with our giant backpacks on. from there we caught the bus to messina and then a train to milazzo and a bus to the port. while we were waiting for the hydrofoil to lipari island we started talkin to this lady. she spoke zero english. she was giving us all these history lessons on milazzo and the islands. when we got there she gave us a ride to our hotel and gave us her card and said "amiche" (friends) and to call us if we needed anything. when we walked into the hotel we entered through the garden, we gave her our passports, she told us we had free internet and then walked us to our room. it was around back. yea we basically had our own private villa with 2 sets of double doors, one that is our main doors that go to our front yard with huge palm trees and cacti and the other went out onto our balcony over looking a wall of honeysuckle! we had a queen size bed and a twin bed and our own bathroom! we couldnt believe it! and our package included a free scooter and a free excursion to panarea and stromboli islands. that night we slept with the storm doors open with the cross breeze coming through the shudders. we joked about being able to do snow angels in our bed without hitting eachother b/c it was that big.
18may- lipari/scooter day
neither of us had either driven on before and i wanted. it took a bit to get used to it but when i did i loved it so much and i got good quick. we drove all the way around the island once without stopping and then we went around again to make all the stops. first stop- granite- it is like a slurpee but made with real fruit. we stopped at a few souvineer and fruit stands. the winding roads reminded me of the road to hana in maui. there was a lot of breaking and once we found the horn we honked it as we went around tight corners. after nearly getting back around the island we saw a sign that might be pointing us towards the thermal baths so we went that was and it ended up being pretty steep roads. we kept going until an extremely steep one and my attempt to turn around went like this: we were rolling down the hill that we were on backwards to i gave it some gas to turn it and then we were parallel w/ the hill so i gave it more gas to turn it more around but it didnt turn tight enough so i slammed the breaks before i ran into the bushes and the weight of the bike on the hill fell sideways and i flew off! allie had jumped off the back before it fell and ran to pick the bike up and turn it off so the gas wouldnt come out. then she came over and luckily had tissues,and bandaids to stop all my bleeding. my left hand and foot we pretty cut up and my helmet had cut me above my left eyebrow. luckily thats it. so laid in the street for awhile and drank water b/c i was getting light headed and allie franticly called the rental place and went to the houses nearby. nobody was home and we were in the middle of no where and couldnt comunicate in italian what had happened or where we were. then from behind us hikers came down. 3 walked right by me and smiled and waved! ha! i couldnt believe it! next the tour guide came down and we put him on the phone to talk in italian. while we were waiting for the rental guys to come, the guide gave me a piggy back ride down the hill and we saw a snake strangling a mouse and hissing at it about to eat it. the rental guys drove us back to the hotel and then the hotel guy took me to the hospital on his vespa to get cleaned up. im glad this fall happened in a worthy place being in italy.
19may- vulcano
we caught the hydrofoil to the island of vulcano and as soon as we got there we rented a mini car. we named it paffuto (chubby). we drove it to the other side of the island to one of 2 destinations on this isand, gelso. the drive was gorgeous and totally different than lipari. it looked like we were in the austrailian tundra. we were expecting at any moment to see giraffes and elefants stampeed across the plains. we gave eachother names: alligator sifari later and lolodrillo safari illo during the excursion. when we got to gelso we parked and walked down the one path, lined with bamboo and at the end there was this deserted lighthouse. we walked around back b/c i had to pee so bad that i just pulled down my shorts right there. the drive back was rough b/c when ever we went down hill the car would basically throw itself out of gear. but we made it and we parked it to go to the 5 stores and eat at 1 of the 3 restaurants. then we found the thermal baths! it reeked of sulfur which if you dont know, smells like rotten eggs but we had to get in. our last stop before leavin the island was to drive back up to this graveyard we passed on the way to gelso. it was the most amazing, different, unique, beautiful graveyard that ive ever seen. i cant even really explain it except that there were actual pictures on the gravestones of whole graves they were. like modern pictures- pretty freaky. we ended the night smoking cigars over a bridge on the water.
20may- lipari/panarea/stromboli
we went to the beach before leaving to go to panarea stromboli islands. we took a boat with a guided group and our first stop was panarea. it was very remote but gorgeous and there seemed to be a color code of white and dark teal b/c when you looked out over the city that was everything. on our way to stromboli we stopped and circled this huge lava mass rock or a tiny island with nothing but a lighthouse on it and stairs twisting up to it. we had three hours to walk around stromboli. it was pretty amazing to think how different all these islands are from eachother. this island also was pretty remote but i could tell- very family oriented. and there was art everywhere on the walls and doors. and obviously including volcanos b/c that is what the island is. and yes it is active. there were black sand beaches and all the rocks are pumos. i bought a kiwi for 20 euro cents and walked down them trying to embrace the moment b/c time had been truly flying. it was great being able to be there without thinking about what school work was due on monday. at 8 we got back on the boat and went around the other side of the island, anchored and watched the volcano erupt. it was shooting little spurts of lava, some bigger than others, only a few that spit over the side but even so- it was really cool and the first time i saw one.
21may- lipari
we went to the beach all day but the night was the cool part. we had met this girl on the beach from florida that told us about this music thing goin on down at the port that night so we went with her and her mom. the show started with this beautiful water foundtain light show that was going to music. then these women dancing with torches and a woman that was dancing, lifted into the air by about 100 massive white balloons, in the air as she flew. this amazing band played- they were like an italian folk band. then a guy came up to read poetry as the band played and in between fireworks. and it ended with probly the best fireworks show ive ever seen in my life. it even kept going after the finally. it was such a gorgeous day and it will be sad to leave b/c when we walk down the streets we see ppl that we know and see everyday- it feels comforting to think about living in a small enough town where you could actually know everyone. i could live in europe but for now- yes i am excited to live in nashville.
22may- taormina
on the train from messina to taormina, while we were waitin in the station for it to leave (it was an hour late) a guy came through and gave us all a bag with a tomato sandwich and a huge bottle water for free as an apology by the train system. little blessings like that make life so sweet. when we arrived in taormina we were waiting for the bus and this girl with dreads asked me if we wanted a ride up to the center. she was so nice. she was meeting her mom and we walked with her until we found her- ended up that she was one of the women that has a table outside selling random things. it was such a great thing seeing this girl run up to her mom and hiss and hug her. it gave me a whole new dimention to the street vendors. b/c i walk by them everyday but dont really think about their families. that was such a great thing to veiw. its awesome being able to trust ppl and receive the blessings they want to give. me and allie were talking about how we just seem to keep running into the right ppl. this morning when we were waiting for the hydrofoil i was just sitting and drinking my tea and the poetry reader from the night before at the music thing came up and started talking to me. and in the car going up to taormina, the other lady they gave a ride to ended up being the one that was singing that night at the greek theater.
23may- taormina/florence
we got up and went to the beach with this girl and guy that had studied in florence that semester too. we laid our stuff down by the water where there were all these flat rocks. it ended up that on the other side of them it was deep enough to jump in. i juts sat there for awhile and watched the fish and the clearness of the water that ill miss. finally i jumped in and it was cold but cool b/c if i moved slowly i could see each rock i walked across back to shore on. at around 2 we went back to catch the bus to the airport. allie watched our stuff while i went in to get us food and when i came back she said that we had to move b/c of this crazy guy that smells really bad. i saw him and he was talkin to himself as he was poaring his beer and then i got up and he had literally crapped his pants and i could see it. he was really drunk and makin a scene goin around yellin at ppl. when he came to sit back down we had to move b/c we couldnt breath from the smell. then these two older guys walked by and one saw that i was writin in my journal in english so they stopped to talk to us. turns out that they were undercover cops and they invited us to their office for coffee. once we got back to florence i dropped my stuff off at sara's and then me, dana, sara, and allie went to art bar for our last daiquiri and then we went to i 5 tavoli to say by the everyone and then went to the secret bakery for the last time. by then it was 330 . i ended up sleeping one hour in a chair before i left for the airport at 430. it was crazy but everything went smoothly. in frankfurt i had a 3 hour lay over and when i went over to my gate i ran into pastor doug! (my pastor from home in richmond) he was on his way home from latvia. it was great gettin to sit and talk with him as he caught me up with all that had been goin on at the church and all the weddings that are coming up. after he left to get on his flight i was just sitting reading the paper and i looked over and this girl, probly 3 y/o with platinum blonde curly hair wend over to pick up the paper off the table and sat in a chair and pretended like she was reading it- then she laid on the floor over the paper with her fists under her chin 'to read.' i kept looking over and she'd be looking at me and then smile- so precious!
so everything went smoothly on my flight and getting through customs was easy and my parents and sister were waiting for me with a ciao bella sign! and my dad had a rose for me. they were so cute and i was so happy to see them. so i have been home since tuesday and it has been a great transition and im countin down the days till i go to nashville!
im going to miss traveling with out the worry of figuring out how to get there. im gonna miss living 2 minutes walking distance from the train station and the train system that can take me where ever i feel like going- for just a small price and my time, with the gorgeous veiw of watching italy go by me for free. i have learned how to pakc light and look for goodness in every annoying moment like waiting 2 hours for a train. it will be luxory to beable to go to stores at all hours of the day since i am used to them being closed for lunch between 1 and 3. 24/7 stores will be breathtaking. dealing with money with out converting it in my head will be nice but ill miss tax being already added in and the price listed being the price that i pay. it will be weird to have a car again. i dont know if i want one anymore.
if my thoughts were food than id be a binge eater- but as of now it sure is a lot of mystery meat and i am a vegetarian.
12 May 2005
'man can learn, relearn, or unlearn to the point of death. there is always more to discover. no matter how much knowledge he has, man can never know everything about anything. change is the end result of all true learning.' -leo buscaglia
passing moments
by Lauren D'Auria
we are all passing moments
in eachothers changing lives.
its almost like this is a
mirage of unity before being
rescattered into the world,
leaving but an outline
of our silhoettes there
together sitting at the reunion table
of our mind.
we sit across from eachother,
looking through the beginnings
of blurring faces
and forgotten names,
discussing our experience
referred to now as one.
that poem was thought up and edited after observing my friends at amedaeus, a bar that aimee and aaron play at alot. as i watched everyone i realized that, yes, we were all there together at the moment but we were all from different places and we were all about to go back to those places very soon. there will never be another time in our lives when all these ppl will be together again. it really made me recognize the preciousness of each and every life experience and how much i dont hold them as dear as they should be held.
ive finished my european history exam and my italian exam and only have one more to go and so in my mind school is over. its crazy every time i think about it. yesturday while i was packing i leaned over to pick up some change and it was two pennies. i am so used to the euro that it will be really weird to switch back.
life is funny when its seasons are shorter or longer then youd wish theyd be. when you think youve learned something you really havent and change comes once again to reteach you.
'life is not the goal, it is the process. it is the getting there, not the arrival. dont fear change, for growing, learning, and experiencing is change. to deny change is to deny the only single reality. there is no stopping it, no holding it back, there is only going with it. there is a hindu tale about a man in a small boat rowing up a fast flowing river against the current. after a great battle, he finally discovers that the effort is futile, so he gives up, raises his oars and begins to sing. the moment teaches him a new way of life; only when he goes with the changing river is man truly free. there is potential lying dormant with in you to be realized. this should challenge you to be the best, most loving, feeling, intelligent person he is capable of. his search is not in competition with anyone elses. he becomes his own personal challenge. you are the best you- its the easiest, most practical, most rewarding thing to be. ' -leo buscaglia
today as i was walking around florence i ws listening to my ipod but through the music i heard the Duomo's bell tower ringing. i stopped in my tracks, took my head phones off and just listened to the familiar sound that will soon be gone. luckily in Richmond the cathedrals bells will be a sweet reminder of my time here.
so im off to see the wizard. this will be my last email that i send out before i come back to the states. sunday i leave for sicily for 9 days and i am more than excited. me and allie are goin to be in toarmina for 2 days and on the aeolian islands for the rest of the time except the day before we fly out we will go back to hike mt. etna. i cant wait to tell you all about it!
(and by the way) this summer i am movin to nashville tennessee for june and july. not for any big reason but just because i feel like being a bit more spontaneous. ill hopefully be working solely to pay for concert tickets because i plan on going to quite a few of those. even though thinking about moving to nashville for 2 months will almost be starting over with friends and life, i am excited b-c if it brings as much joy and growth as this semester in italy did then i am all for this next season. bring it on because getting out of our comfort zones is where we truly discover life.
i have a smile on my face- the kind of smile you make when you put on your friend or lover's shirt and smell that familiar smell
passing moments
by Lauren D'Auria
we are all passing moments
in eachothers changing lives.
its almost like this is a
mirage of unity before being
rescattered into the world,
leaving but an outline
of our silhoettes there
together sitting at the reunion table
of our mind.
we sit across from eachother,
looking through the beginnings
of blurring faces
and forgotten names,
discussing our experience
referred to now as one.
that poem was thought up and edited after observing my friends at amedaeus, a bar that aimee and aaron play at alot. as i watched everyone i realized that, yes, we were all there together at the moment but we were all from different places and we were all about to go back to those places very soon. there will never be another time in our lives when all these ppl will be together again. it really made me recognize the preciousness of each and every life experience and how much i dont hold them as dear as they should be held.
ive finished my european history exam and my italian exam and only have one more to go and so in my mind school is over. its crazy every time i think about it. yesturday while i was packing i leaned over to pick up some change and it was two pennies. i am so used to the euro that it will be really weird to switch back.
life is funny when its seasons are shorter or longer then youd wish theyd be. when you think youve learned something you really havent and change comes once again to reteach you.
'life is not the goal, it is the process. it is the getting there, not the arrival. dont fear change, for growing, learning, and experiencing is change. to deny change is to deny the only single reality. there is no stopping it, no holding it back, there is only going with it. there is a hindu tale about a man in a small boat rowing up a fast flowing river against the current. after a great battle, he finally discovers that the effort is futile, so he gives up, raises his oars and begins to sing. the moment teaches him a new way of life; only when he goes with the changing river is man truly free. there is potential lying dormant with in you to be realized. this should challenge you to be the best, most loving, feeling, intelligent person he is capable of. his search is not in competition with anyone elses. he becomes his own personal challenge. you are the best you- its the easiest, most practical, most rewarding thing to be. ' -leo buscaglia
today as i was walking around florence i ws listening to my ipod but through the music i heard the Duomo's bell tower ringing. i stopped in my tracks, took my head phones off and just listened to the familiar sound that will soon be gone. luckily in Richmond the cathedrals bells will be a sweet reminder of my time here.
so im off to see the wizard. this will be my last email that i send out before i come back to the states. sunday i leave for sicily for 9 days and i am more than excited. me and allie are goin to be in toarmina for 2 days and on the aeolian islands for the rest of the time except the day before we fly out we will go back to hike mt. etna. i cant wait to tell you all about it!
(and by the way) this summer i am movin to nashville tennessee for june and july. not for any big reason but just because i feel like being a bit more spontaneous. ill hopefully be working solely to pay for concert tickets because i plan on going to quite a few of those. even though thinking about moving to nashville for 2 months will almost be starting over with friends and life, i am excited b-c if it brings as much joy and growth as this semester in italy did then i am all for this next season. bring it on because getting out of our comfort zones is where we truly discover life.
i have a smile on my face- the kind of smile you make when you put on your friend or lover's shirt and smell that familiar smell
09 May 2005
so for the past two weeks i have been pretty busy. last weekend was the weekend i had been waiting for this whole semester. me and allie had booked far in advance our trip with bus2.it tours to go to interlaken, switzerland to go skydiving. so we werent leavin until 6 that night and were anticipating gettin on that bus all day. when we got there i saw the guys and was like 'aight we are ready!' and they said 'you goin to sorento?' and we said 'no, interlaken' and they proceeded to tell us that there was no trip and it had been canceled since the week before. so they just decided not to tell us. we were quite pissed..to say the least. so we decided to do the next best thing- find a beach and go there! that night when i was hangin out w/ my italian friends at i 5 tavoli i was tellin them i was gonna go to rimini the next day and they all said, 'NOOOO!' not unless you want to go bar hoping the whole time and that wasnt in my mind at all so they told us the best beach in tuscany to go to that we could go to by train. so saturday morning me and allie got up and caught the 8 am train to castiglioncello beach like 30 minutes south of pisa on the east coast. and they were right..it was gorgeous. it was a really small town that was basically the equivilant of 1 new york block. we found a hotel that had beach access and dropped out stuff off, ate and went to bum on the beach from 1 in the afternoon till around 5 that night. it was so hot that we basically had to go in the water every 30 minutes. it was my first time, besides puttin my feet in the water in nice france, that i had been completely under water in the med. sea. so i was pretty excited about it. we were surrounded by all italians for the whole weekend which was a breath of fresh air to get away from americans. we also bought 'scopa' cards to play. that night we went and got a drink at a really different interesting bar that was suprisingly empty but all the chairs were simply cushions on the floor. i loved it...sittin there in italy w/ my friend playing scopa and drinkin a capiroska. that night we went to bed early b/c we were tired from all that laying in the sun so we got some rest for another long day of laying in the sun on sunday. we were out from like 12 until 430 and i decided to lay on my stomach almost the whole day so the back side of my body could catch up w/ the front side. bad idea. i got pretty burnt. and ofcourse it turned tan w/in 3 days but not its all peeling off pretty bad and i have to start all over!! bah.
so this weekend i went sailing to elba w/ 44 italians and 2 of my friends from school and it was amazing. it was i have to say..probly my favorite weekend this semester. we left on friday morn to drive to the dock we would set sail from and chilled on the boats, studying (taking a nap) and waiting for the others to get there around 8p. when they did some of us went to watch the sunset over the med and drink some mojitos and talk. mostly all of them spoke in perfect english so again no italian was learned or used. ha. oh well. after that we all went back and we had dinner and then a dance party across all 5 sail boats and on the dock in the parking lot until 3 in the morning. the next morning i woke up to the sound of the engine in my ear at 830 am and so i went on deck and we were leavin the port. we sailed out to one coast of elba and anchored so that we could all swim. we got to jump off the sides of the boats and yes it was freezing. afterwards when we got going again we decided to have a race between all the boats. and this time there was enough wind to shut off the engine and use only the sails. the rules were to switch the side the sail was on every 5 mintues which involves alot more work then you think unless you know how to sail. and what did i do? watch! ha. i did it one time and i was way to slow turnin the handle w/ my dinky arms. then all of them decided to get me on the CB and decide the next rules in english...because our boat was called 'american boat' since the only 3 americans were on it and i had to say random things really fast in english so that non of them would understand..haha. so yea anyways..later that night we anchored the boat of shore another side of elba and attached all 5 boats to eachother and 'took a bath' as the italian say it. we went swimming for longer this time. i wasnt goin to b/c it was so cold but david attacked me with whip creme so i had to go wash it all off. the water gets warm quick though. while the boats were all still attached we watched the sunset again and then had pesto pasta for dinner. after me calais and dave went up on deck and looked at the stars b/c there was zero light polution from the water. so we laid there and talked about life and how surreal the moment was being on a sail boat in italy with all italians. thinking about what we want to do when we graduate and just about havin to grow up and where we want to live and all. its crazy. for now i am so greatful to have been able to go on this trip. we went to bed early that night and got up the next morning around 10. we were still anchored off shore and we started the day with greatness of nutella! (have i mentioned how obsessed i am...im sure but oh well i will say it once again) then we were off to another long day of sailing. i slept most of it b/c the sun was tiring and the sea sick medicine was drowsy. but it was a great great day. we got back around 6 and headed back to florence. my face is almost burnt but will turn to tan in a few but the remains of my tan is peeling off quite rapidly...
so this is my last week in florence and i have to spend it packing, cleaning my apartment and studying for exams...sucks! but next week i am off to sicily for a week before i return to grand ol US of A. if you are plannin on sending me anymore mail then dont. email me and ask me for the address to send it to.
and i have put a few more pictures up since the last email but there are some more on my friends website from the past two weekend. go to this address http://www.calaismarie.com and then click on liguria (NEW) and sailing (NEW)
so this weekend i went sailing to elba w/ 44 italians and 2 of my friends from school and it was amazing. it was i have to say..probly my favorite weekend this semester. we left on friday morn to drive to the dock we would set sail from and chilled on the boats, studying (taking a nap) and waiting for the others to get there around 8p. when they did some of us went to watch the sunset over the med and drink some mojitos and talk. mostly all of them spoke in perfect english so again no italian was learned or used. ha. oh well. after that we all went back and we had dinner and then a dance party across all 5 sail boats and on the dock in the parking lot until 3 in the morning. the next morning i woke up to the sound of the engine in my ear at 830 am and so i went on deck and we were leavin the port. we sailed out to one coast of elba and anchored so that we could all swim. we got to jump off the sides of the boats and yes it was freezing. afterwards when we got going again we decided to have a race between all the boats. and this time there was enough wind to shut off the engine and use only the sails. the rules were to switch the side the sail was on every 5 mintues which involves alot more work then you think unless you know how to sail. and what did i do? watch! ha. i did it one time and i was way to slow turnin the handle w/ my dinky arms. then all of them decided to get me on the CB and decide the next rules in english...because our boat was called 'american boat' since the only 3 americans were on it and i had to say random things really fast in english so that non of them would understand..haha. so yea anyways..later that night we anchored the boat of shore another side of elba and attached all 5 boats to eachother and 'took a bath' as the italian say it. we went swimming for longer this time. i wasnt goin to b/c it was so cold but david attacked me with whip creme so i had to go wash it all off. the water gets warm quick though. while the boats were all still attached we watched the sunset again and then had pesto pasta for dinner. after me calais and dave went up on deck and looked at the stars b/c there was zero light polution from the water. so we laid there and talked about life and how surreal the moment was being on a sail boat in italy with all italians. thinking about what we want to do when we graduate and just about havin to grow up and where we want to live and all. its crazy. for now i am so greatful to have been able to go on this trip. we went to bed early that night and got up the next morning around 10. we were still anchored off shore and we started the day with greatness of nutella! (have i mentioned how obsessed i am...im sure but oh well i will say it once again) then we were off to another long day of sailing. i slept most of it b/c the sun was tiring and the sea sick medicine was drowsy. but it was a great great day. we got back around 6 and headed back to florence. my face is almost burnt but will turn to tan in a few but the remains of my tan is peeling off quite rapidly...
so this is my last week in florence and i have to spend it packing, cleaning my apartment and studying for exams...sucks! but next week i am off to sicily for a week before i return to grand ol US of A. if you are plannin on sending me anymore mail then dont. email me and ask me for the address to send it to.
and i have put a few more pictures up since the last email but there are some more on my friends website from the past two weekend. go to this address http://www.calaismarie.com and then click on liguria (NEW) and sailing (NEW)
27 April 2005
sorry i have been slow to keep you updated. the past few weeks have been perfectly busy. last weekend i stayed in florence again b/c the sailing trip was canceled b/c of the weather. since i havent been to any of the tourist spots in florence since i have been here and i wanted to go to the bargello museam to see donetello's david so i did. and the week before this one i went to the biboli gardens and to fiesole. but last saturday a friend of a friend of calais' (livio) came to florence. he is from genova and was in town for a concert. so we met up w/ him and had coffee then he taught us an italian card game called scopa (broom). that night we met up w/ two more of his friends (ceasare and davide) and went to the interpol/spoon concert and then to this italian house party like 30 min outside of florence into tuscan country. it was amazing. me and calais were the only americans there. it was in this little italian cottage and i could touch the ceiling if i stood on my tip toes. there were two rooms packed of ppl. one w/ a dj and ppl dancin and then the other w/ tables of food and wine. we were in that one. afterwards we drove back to calais' and played cards all night until we walked to piazza michaelangelo to watch the sunrise. it was my first one b/c all my previous attempt were shafted by the cloads and bad weather. we went to bed at 730a and then got up at 12 for brunch at ary's diner. which is like americans 50's style diner. monday night i went to bologna b/c livio goes to school there and he gave me the grand tour. tuesday night was the blonde redhead concert in this tiny venue like alley katz. friday morn me and 3 friends caught a train to cinque terre and hiked the hardest trail out of the 4. you can hike between each town. saturday calais and allie met up and we hiked the other 3 and then went to geneva that night and stayed w/ livio and his parents at their place. it was a gorgeous apartment. livio and ceasare gave us the tour. sunday was livio's bday so we made pancakes and a special L shaped one for him. it was his first time havin pancakes! the next day we went to the aquarium. one of the biggest in europe i think. and i got to ride on ceasare's vespa scooter! so yea long story short for sure on my fun times. but just so you can get an idea of whats been goin on. the main thing i wanted to share was that i read this book called 'love' by leo buscaglia. it is the kind of book ill read every year. along w/ the prophet. but here is a quote:
'man can learn, relearn, or unlearn to the point of death. there is always more to discover. no matter how much knowledge he has, man can never know everything about anything. change is the end result of all true learning.'
i cant believe i have less than a month left here. and only 12 days left of school. as soon as i get comfortable i have to leave. we are all passing moments in eachothers changing lives. its almost like this is a mirage of unity before being rescattered into the world. the inevitability of it all is so uncomfortable as of now.
'man can learn, relearn, or unlearn to the point of death. there is always more to discover. no matter how much knowledge he has, man can never know everything about anything. change is the end result of all true learning.'
i cant believe i have less than a month left here. and only 12 days left of school. as soon as i get comfortable i have to leave. we are all passing moments in eachothers changing lives. its almost like this is a mirage of unity before being rescattered into the world. the inevitability of it all is so uncomfortable as of now.
11 April 2005
its funny how the church will find itself. connections are divinly made in order for the family to become aware of its presence in a city or place. yesturday when i went to church w- my friend calais at the church she has been going to, i realized this. michael, a guy i had met at a friends going away party, was there, which was not a coincidence b/c he had told me about this church awhile ago and i hadnt had the chance to go but we still ended up at the same place. and also girls id seen around school were there. the church is a house church and i felt like i was walking into open arms. during worship as we all gathered in one room around a piano and 2 guitars, just looking around, God just gently reminded my heart that i will never be alone. but that every person there including myself, that came to florence thinking they wouldnt find any christians, ended up in the same boat. it really spoke to me of Gods sovereign love for his bride. and my spirit was surely smiling the remainder of the day.
also the past 2 nights me and calais have been hanging out at a bar called i 5 tavoli (the 5 tables). and i have come to love the group of friends so much. they are all italians except one girl from latvia. they are all just so individually precious and as a group they are so- one. they equally love eachother. we were all supposed to go sailing this weekend to elba but it was postponed b/c the owner of the bar, alfredo, also one of their best friends, got into a motorcycle accident breaking both legs, one arm and both hands. so they all stayed to run the bar for him. they are really teaching me so much about how friendship should be. italians definately are not shy about showing their heart. even in the simple act of kissing both cheeks to greet and say good bye- in the states would be thought of as invading ones space and would definately not be done upon first introduction, is a staple to italian culture. david and liga are the couple of the group but they are anything but exclusive. they both are just as affectionate, in friendly ways, to everyone else and almost put their relationship on hold in respect to others. the groups core is- francesca, cecilia, david, liga, suzi, gabrielle, julia, e alfredo- and though they stick together- they are definately not a clique. me and calais are making ourselves part of the group and they love it. we walk through the doors greeted by a cheerful 'ciao!' and as we sit at the bar we get surprised with new invented drinks that we all share along with chips, frys, and conversation. they mainly speak in italian so i try to understand but their body language definately speaks for them often. we are getting to practice our italian along with them getting to practice their english and we have grace for eachothers lack of fluidity of speech. i really love it and just with in the past week i can say that i will really miss it here.
also the past 2 nights me and calais have been hanging out at a bar called i 5 tavoli (the 5 tables). and i have come to love the group of friends so much. they are all italians except one girl from latvia. they are all just so individually precious and as a group they are so- one. they equally love eachother. we were all supposed to go sailing this weekend to elba but it was postponed b/c the owner of the bar, alfredo, also one of their best friends, got into a motorcycle accident breaking both legs, one arm and both hands. so they all stayed to run the bar for him. they are really teaching me so much about how friendship should be. italians definately are not shy about showing their heart. even in the simple act of kissing both cheeks to greet and say good bye- in the states would be thought of as invading ones space and would definately not be done upon first introduction, is a staple to italian culture. david and liga are the couple of the group but they are anything but exclusive. they both are just as affectionate, in friendly ways, to everyone else and almost put their relationship on hold in respect to others. the groups core is- francesca, cecilia, david, liga, suzi, gabrielle, julia, e alfredo- and though they stick together- they are definately not a clique. me and calais are making ourselves part of the group and they love it. we walk through the doors greeted by a cheerful 'ciao!' and as we sit at the bar we get surprised with new invented drinks that we all share along with chips, frys, and conversation. they mainly speak in italian so i try to understand but their body language definately speaks for them often. we are getting to practice our italian along with them getting to practice their english and we have grace for eachothers lack of fluidity of speech. i really love it and just with in the past week i can say that i will really miss it here.
04 April 2005
its april! what the heck! (by the way i found my bike- i thought someone stole it b/c i leaned it on the wall outside my school and it was gone when i got out of class but someone had just moved into the hallway inside the school building. so good thing.)
friday me and jamie (the girl that lives across the hall from me) went to viareggio beach. it is about a 2 hour train ride but a perfect beach to go too every weekend or during the week when it gets warmer. it has lots of sand. i love when sand hardens into balls and i can crumble them in my fingers.
saturday i went down the arno river to sit in the sun and write for awhile. when me and dana walked under the bridge it reminded me of richmond. and the sound of the waterful made by the river dam sounded just like the water flowing through the flat rocks of the james at belle isle. it was a very comfortable feeling.
i feel kinda lonely right now even tho there are so many ppl surrounding me. maybe b/c of the lack of consistancy. everyone studying here wants to fit in as much as they can by traveling every weekend and yes that is what i wanted to do but i am now just going to kind of go with the flow.
i was thinking while on the train to viareggio on friday- i saw a lady hanging up her laundry and i had a revelation -there is such importance in doing what you do- the everyday things. b/c if you didnt then there wouldnt be any solidity for travelers. the cultural experience could not be had. not that we should be living to appease the passing onlookers but i feel such high regard and respect for the ones that press on in the practical and do the things that just have to be done. like the ppl that work the vendors of the stands in san lorenzo and the central market- that so often in my mind simply act as a backdrop that i pass by daily to get where i have to go. if the guys that yell out, "ciao bella!" and make kissy noises werent here then something about italy would be missing. so really all the simple things or annoyances i often look over- are what become the foreground of my experience here.
the sad thing about this trip is that the same thing is going through my head right now that was going through my head before i left the states, "i cant wait to..." this thought of the future and excitements of what is to come. i definately never thought i would miss the states as much as i do. no matter how much i wish i was italian- im not- i just have the looks and the last name. it seems so often that nothing seems to be enough for me. and i cant find satisfaction. but at the same time i know that i am the one keeping myself from it. i feel right now that in my mind i am rewriting ecclesiastes but thats the process of life... right? im just being real.
"passion is not so much the level of emotional intensity or experience that defines our spiritual fervor as it is the direction toward which we hope. the notion of passion has been hobbled by myopic fascination with its upside, its cheeriness and its zealous ardor, to tingle with anticipation always, a wide eyed exuberance always. but Jesus suggested that when you are at the end of your rope and torn apart with hunger is when life of God can take deep root. Jesus spoke to the weary and the broken- he didnt challenge them to move past their despair and to cheer up- he encouraged them to embrace their disillusionment, to own their dark place and find God in it. when our reality is infused with expectation, trust and abandonment in the one who invites us to Himself with all our passions- exuberant and despondent alike- we are walking with God. desire can be the most vivid when it speaks from the empty place- where satisfaction is the most distant reality" -relevant magazine
"the entire life of a good christian is in face the excercise of holy desire. you do not yet see what you long for, but the very act of desiring prepares you, so that when He comes you may be utterly satisfied." -augustine
"waiting isnt glamorous- it makes us vulnerable, dependant and anxious. when we wait, we have to grapple with the fact that we arent sufficient to continue unless God intervenes. spiritual renewal arrives when we become boldly aware of our weakness."
"we are saints whose worship is in the demolition that exposes hearts of flesh where stone has found purpose to form"
i dont like to face the fact that i am weak but nothing could be more accurate.
my prayer: God i wish to perfectly love you. unlearn me and overteach me.
friday me and jamie (the girl that lives across the hall from me) went to viareggio beach. it is about a 2 hour train ride but a perfect beach to go too every weekend or during the week when it gets warmer. it has lots of sand. i love when sand hardens into balls and i can crumble them in my fingers.
saturday i went down the arno river to sit in the sun and write for awhile. when me and dana walked under the bridge it reminded me of richmond. and the sound of the waterful made by the river dam sounded just like the water flowing through the flat rocks of the james at belle isle. it was a very comfortable feeling.
i feel kinda lonely right now even tho there are so many ppl surrounding me. maybe b/c of the lack of consistancy. everyone studying here wants to fit in as much as they can by traveling every weekend and yes that is what i wanted to do but i am now just going to kind of go with the flow.
i was thinking while on the train to viareggio on friday- i saw a lady hanging up her laundry and i had a revelation -there is such importance in doing what you do- the everyday things. b/c if you didnt then there wouldnt be any solidity for travelers. the cultural experience could not be had. not that we should be living to appease the passing onlookers but i feel such high regard and respect for the ones that press on in the practical and do the things that just have to be done. like the ppl that work the vendors of the stands in san lorenzo and the central market- that so often in my mind simply act as a backdrop that i pass by daily to get where i have to go. if the guys that yell out, "ciao bella!" and make kissy noises werent here then something about italy would be missing. so really all the simple things or annoyances i often look over- are what become the foreground of my experience here.
the sad thing about this trip is that the same thing is going through my head right now that was going through my head before i left the states, "i cant wait to..." this thought of the future and excitements of what is to come. i definately never thought i would miss the states as much as i do. no matter how much i wish i was italian- im not- i just have the looks and the last name. it seems so often that nothing seems to be enough for me. and i cant find satisfaction. but at the same time i know that i am the one keeping myself from it. i feel right now that in my mind i am rewriting ecclesiastes but thats the process of life... right? im just being real.
"passion is not so much the level of emotional intensity or experience that defines our spiritual fervor as it is the direction toward which we hope. the notion of passion has been hobbled by myopic fascination with its upside, its cheeriness and its zealous ardor, to tingle with anticipation always, a wide eyed exuberance always. but Jesus suggested that when you are at the end of your rope and torn apart with hunger is when life of God can take deep root. Jesus spoke to the weary and the broken- he didnt challenge them to move past their despair and to cheer up- he encouraged them to embrace their disillusionment, to own their dark place and find God in it. when our reality is infused with expectation, trust and abandonment in the one who invites us to Himself with all our passions- exuberant and despondent alike- we are walking with God. desire can be the most vivid when it speaks from the empty place- where satisfaction is the most distant reality" -relevant magazine
"the entire life of a good christian is in face the excercise of holy desire. you do not yet see what you long for, but the very act of desiring prepares you, so that when He comes you may be utterly satisfied." -augustine
"waiting isnt glamorous- it makes us vulnerable, dependant and anxious. when we wait, we have to grapple with the fact that we arent sufficient to continue unless God intervenes. spiritual renewal arrives when we become boldly aware of our weakness."
"we are saints whose worship is in the demolition that exposes hearts of flesh where stone has found purpose to form"
i dont like to face the fact that i am weak but nothing could be more accurate.
my prayer: God i wish to perfectly love you. unlearn me and overteach me.
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